19th early morning
just the day before 18th i had lamented so much to a friend about purity and how impure our thoughts are. I know the answers myself but failing to live upto the expectation is a huge burden on the heart cause its not the knowing that matters but the living of ideals. its not even the spiritual experience that occurred in the past but its the awareness of the experience NOW that matters. so after lamenting a lot and vigorously pushing swami to show something some sign or just dont bother, infact i even told that i dont want anymore lectures or be good do good, instead jus make it happen i cannot do it on my own. thats the premise, i go home i watch movie so i dont keep thinking about things, as movies or tv is the easiest way to forget your awareness and at this moment my awareness was more focussed on the confused mind rather than the silence beyond the mind.
The dream is very beautiful. We are in a train journey (poignant) Sln asks me how to control lust :) out of the blue, its a dream and I am not in astral travel, although it could very well be as i was not aware. I explain two points - one we have chosen this, we will have to endure this, its our choice so atleast be happy, two - swami wants it this way, he is watching and he very well knows this is happening so jus try and leave it, dont try to be perfect cause its an illusion of the mind. you know what is right just do it. I dont remember the second point i explained very clearly when i woke up but i remember the first point well. i woke up at the alarm at 4AM and went right back to sleep. I was playing with snakes, not playing but sort of snakes all around, dinesh was wearing a live snake as a belt and he wanted one more belt, i went out of tht room into another room inside some home I see a snake under water, which i believe is dead but not sure, i tell dinesh u can pick this snake urself and wear it as a belt if u want. then i go inside a bigger room i find lot of snakes, and there is a politician or a leader , who has done some crime, so he goes to the police station to explain his situation. But i am enraged at his behaviour I let out the snakes on his kids, letting one kid alive so he does have a kid but for his grave punishment I let the snakes do whatever they want to his other kids. Because the man had committed crime against snakes and let snakes do whatever they want. I am not sure but after sometime i see many many dead snakes and some dead kids presumably that leaders kids, lots of dead snakes. but all this is fine, i have always had snake related dreams but what was important was i tell rathi lets jus leave this god damn place, we are packing to catch a flight (i guess) but before we head out a guy stops me and asks me, bharad, what does this signify, what does the killing of snake mean, i tell him maybe inner bad qualities, animalistic behaviour maybe ? he responds saying yes and more, i was wondering what more means and i wake up. what is so poignant is that usually its after the dream when i wake up i ask myself what did that dream mean, but this is the first time when i am not doing astral travel that someone actually questions me within that dream, what does this all mean, what does all this happening mean to you, and i am still in that dream and answering him what that happenings meant. anyways i wake up and read about islamic and bible and hindu meanings of snakes and killing of snakes and dead snakes and water snakes and small and big snakes etc and all i read its related to lust and bad qualities and how to overcome and that killing means we are succeeding in quelling our negative qualities...
just the day before 18th i had lamented so much to a friend about purity and how impure our thoughts are. I know the answers myself but failing to live upto the expectation is a huge burden on the heart cause its not the knowing that matters but the living of ideals. its not even the spiritual experience that occurred in the past but its the awareness of the experience NOW that matters. so after lamenting a lot and vigorously pushing swami to show something some sign or just dont bother, infact i even told that i dont want anymore lectures or be good do good, instead jus make it happen i cannot do it on my own. thats the premise, i go home i watch movie so i dont keep thinking about things, as movies or tv is the easiest way to forget your awareness and at this moment my awareness was more focussed on the confused mind rather than the silence beyond the mind.
The dream is very beautiful. We are in a train journey (poignant) Sln asks me how to control lust :) out of the blue, its a dream and I am not in astral travel, although it could very well be as i was not aware. I explain two points - one we have chosen this, we will have to endure this, its our choice so atleast be happy, two - swami wants it this way, he is watching and he very well knows this is happening so jus try and leave it, dont try to be perfect cause its an illusion of the mind. you know what is right just do it. I dont remember the second point i explained very clearly when i woke up but i remember the first point well. i woke up at the alarm at 4AM and went right back to sleep. I was playing with snakes, not playing but sort of snakes all around, dinesh was wearing a live snake as a belt and he wanted one more belt, i went out of tht room into another room inside some home I see a snake under water, which i believe is dead but not sure, i tell dinesh u can pick this snake urself and wear it as a belt if u want. then i go inside a bigger room i find lot of snakes, and there is a politician or a leader , who has done some crime, so he goes to the police station to explain his situation. But i am enraged at his behaviour I let out the snakes on his kids, letting one kid alive so he does have a kid but for his grave punishment I let the snakes do whatever they want to his other kids. Because the man had committed crime against snakes and let snakes do whatever they want. I am not sure but after sometime i see many many dead snakes and some dead kids presumably that leaders kids, lots of dead snakes. but all this is fine, i have always had snake related dreams but what was important was i tell rathi lets jus leave this god damn place, we are packing to catch a flight (i guess) but before we head out a guy stops me and asks me, bharad, what does this signify, what does the killing of snake mean, i tell him maybe inner bad qualities, animalistic behaviour maybe ? he responds saying yes and more, i was wondering what more means and i wake up. what is so poignant is that usually its after the dream when i wake up i ask myself what did that dream mean, but this is the first time when i am not doing astral travel that someone actually questions me within that dream, what does this all mean, what does all this happening mean to you, and i am still in that dream and answering him what that happenings meant. anyways i wake up and read about islamic and bible and hindu meanings of snakes and killing of snakes and dead snakes and water snakes and small and big snakes etc and all i read its related to lust and bad qualities and how to overcome and that killing means we are succeeding in quelling our negative qualities...
