end of Oct - swami comes in another form .. comes and puts a pin in me like putting a flag in the shirt pocket, i kind feel the pain of the pin going into my body and twitch a little out of pain and slowly push it away , outside of my body as its paining. Swami notices this and says u want me to put or not I say yes swami please put. Swami says "your actions are opposite of what that needs to be done, when I put pressure you are releasing the pressure, whatever I do you are nullifying it by your actions" .. i was stunned cause its like my life whatever pressure situations i get into I convininetly avoid and get out , not always showing love and caring but try to get out of the place. Swami says Do you want me to put it or not, I immediately open up and tell swami you put it back swami i wil bear any amount of pain its immaterial just put the pin i wont release the pin away, whatever you want my lord is right, whatever i do my lord is wrong, I do it out of ignorance, out of inability to control , the pain itself is not the problem its the ignorance that makes me do my actions. Swami puts the pin and walks away.

Jo Tum Todo Piya Main Nahi Todu Krishna, Tori Prit Todi Krsna Kaun Sang Jodu :'(