After a long time swami came in my dream
3 things to remember for context - which I recollected only after waking up - (1.) We are planning to fix garage, put epoxy flooring and build some closet doors and praying to Swami hoping he will bless that… (2). Jus before going to sleep I changed wall paper on my phone to that young looking swami photo and spoke to that photo saying wish Swami came be like that to me also , came to me that young and stayed and be friends with me like that young teenage photo …(3). I spent a solid 4-5 hrs cleaning garage and making it look good and ready, throwing stuff into trash and for donations.
Now the dream -
First I got a dream that was not good , I was visiting a friend and she was sitting on a bed with spouse and we were talking for awhile and I said ok am taking leave and woke abruptly feeling uneasy and uncomfortable to say the least … then i complained to swami saying did you see this did you note this etc then I went back to sleep agin..
Second dream , Swami comes.. HE just stood with me , spoke to me encouragingly and playfully and lovingly s stayed a longtime with me. Just Swami and I being friends for a long long time.swami was very very young looking and one on one time. Swami materialized a photo it had both Karunanidhi and Jaya Lalitha , blessingly said they both worked for people … I jus nodded…thinking about it after waking up I am getting many meanings like we should work for people no matter what and prioritize that etc.
We were really like thick friends in the long time swami spent with me… After talking and being together for along time , I got bold to complain to swami, I said Swami you are also like Maya you never come and speak to me , how do you expect to connect with you , or talk to you, I just perennially miss you and I don’t care after sometime , Life goes on what do you expect… then Swami was actually apologizing , loving and chiding me as a friend and touching me and telling it’s not like that. I was expecting swami to say I dint do sadhana or I am not going to Sai Aashraya office regularly or I dint do this work or I had bad thoughts that’s why Swami wouldn’t come etc , but swami was simply apologetically loving and ignored answering my question directly but said few things lovingly and said none of it matters to be close to swami ... From inside danville home we come to garage now. It’s very ironic that I don’t remember exactly what all we spoke but mostly he was there with me all the time like a best friend in human form close to me.
at this time Sai, Dinesh, Adi and Vikram bhai came and sat next and we all sat around swami Vikram was all the way back though , not interested and doing something else. Akka was not there .. we could all See swami n orange robe.. Sai was on phone talking to his dad in India and was angry on something and he was also angrily responding to Swami that this dint go the way he intended etc Swami was just lovingly telling Sai it’s ok you are being close and personal with vendors that’s why they are also behaving like that regarding some work or payment etc Sai was angry at Swamis response and he was talking as if to a friend telling Swami directly that I tried but they are not listening etc. he went back on phone to his dad giving instructions .. at one point I was thinking was Swami telling Sai is close to us and he shouldn’t be close to us , and Swami lovingly meant no , that’s only for vendors. I was thinking incorrectly that Swami was giving Sai a message to be not close to us, it was my personal fear and attachment I guess..
Swami fixed garage door with a saree or a long cloth tie closer to spring to hold garage door together. Swami asked for a ladder to fix it, before we could bring it Swami grew tall himself and fixed it , then he called me to help him get down I carried swami ( wow) and placed him on table center of garage so he can sit. Swami was in a different color so Dinesh said swami you are in blue color or something and Swami changed back to regular color and said can’t I even change colors saying I am God these are not a big deal, Then swami started reading all books I had and he wrote 9/10, 7/10, 1/10 etc saying these books are ok for reading, these are not etc I don’t remember what those books are but those are not swami books…swami gave Sai a book to read, a lot of my personal stories were there in that I gave a look at swami as if saying why is he giving it to Sai to read lol, then swami asked me is it ok for Sai to read, I said yea it’s ok it’s jus my personally stories of trauma and history that I had written long time ago and I don’t care anymore and sure he can read if he wants to , I was just afraid skeptical that my image will be ruined lol but I told swami it’s ok let him read cause I am not that person anymore ..I asked swami apologizing that we are not able to meet more new people for Sai Aashraya. Swami said you have to travel outside to meet new people meaning fly to places. Adi, Dinesh were there too. Vikram Bhai was also there sitting back and doing something else. I was struggling to say and I said something in mid-June some event is there and swami should bless It.. swami was just leaving at that time ..
I had so many questions if I should do certain sadhana , can swami give me a mantra , if I should return to India and how to stay connected to Swami all the time etc but swami just walked and dream ended…I woke up crying and telling swami to stop
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