end of Oct - swami comes in another form .. comes and puts a pin in me like putting a flag in the shirt pocket, i kind feel the pain of the pin going into my body and twitch a little out of pain and slowly push it away , outside of my body as its paining. Swami notices this and says u want me to put or not I say yes swami please put. Swami says "your actions are opposite of what that needs to be done, when I put pressure you are releasing the pressure, whatever I do you are nullifying it by your actions" .. i was stunned cause its like my life whatever pressure situations i get into I convininetly avoid and get out , not always showing love and caring but try to get out of the place. Swami says Do you want me to put it or not, I immediately open up and tell swami you put it back swami i wil bear any amount of pain its immaterial just put the pin i wont release the pin away, whatever you want my lord is right, whatever i do my lord is wrong, I do it out of ignorance, out of inability to control , the pain itself is not the problem its the ignorance that makes me do my actions. Swami puts the pin and walks away.

Jo Tum Todo Piya Main Nahi Todu Krishna, Tori Prit Todi Krsna Kaun Sang Jodu :'(

19th early morning
just the day before 18th i had lamented so much to a friend about purity and how impure our thoughts are. I know the answers myself but failing to live upto the expectation is a huge burden on the heart cause its not the knowing that matters but the living of ideals. its not even the spiritual experience that occurred in the past but its the awareness of the experience NOW that matters. so after lamenting a lot and vigorously pushing swami to show something some sign or just dont bother, infact i even told that i dont want anymore lectures or be good do good, instead jus make it happen i cannot do it on my own. thats the premise, i go home i watch movie so i dont keep thinking about things, as movies or tv is the easiest way to forget your awareness and at this moment my awareness was more focussed on the confused mind rather than the silence beyond the mind.
The dream is very beautiful. We are in a train journey (poignant) Sln asks me how to control lust :) out of the blue, its a dream and I am not in astral travel, although it could very well be as i was not aware. I explain two points - one we have chosen this, we will have to endure this, its our choice so atleast be happy, two - swami wants it this way, he is watching and he very well knows this is happening so jus try and leave it, dont try to be perfect cause its an illusion of the mind. you know what is right just do it. I dont remember the second point i explained very clearly when i woke up but i remember the first point well. i woke up at the alarm at 4AM and went right back to sleep. I was playing with snakes, not playing but sort of snakes all around, dinesh was wearing a live snake as a belt and he wanted one more belt, i went out of tht room into another room inside some home I see a snake under water, which i believe is dead but not sure, i tell dinesh u can pick this snake urself and wear it as a belt if u want. then i go inside a bigger room i find lot of snakes, and there is a politician or a leader , who has done some crime, so he goes to the police station to explain his situation. But i am enraged at his behaviour I let out the snakes on his kids, letting one kid alive so he does have a kid but for his grave punishment I let the snakes do whatever they want to his other kids. Because the man had committed crime against snakes and let snakes do whatever they want. I am not sure but after sometime i see many many dead snakes and some dead kids presumably that leaders kids, lots of dead snakes. but all this is fine, i have always had snake related dreams but what was important was i tell rathi lets jus leave this god damn place, we are packing to catch a flight (i guess) but before we head out a guy stops me and asks me, bharad, what does this signify, what does the killing of snake mean, i tell him maybe inner bad qualities, animalistic behaviour maybe ? he responds saying yes and more,  i was wondering what more means and i wake up. what is so poignant is that usually its after the dream when i wake up i ask myself what did that dream mean, but this is the first time when i am not doing astral travel that someone actually questions me within that dream, what does this all mean, what does all this happening mean to you, and i am still in that dream and answering him what that happenings meant. anyways i wake up and read about islamic and bible and hindu meanings of snakes and killing of snakes and dead snakes and water snakes and small and big snakes etc and all i read its related to lust and bad qualities and how to overcome and that killing means we are succeeding in quelling our negative qualities...

22-sept-2016 in Paris France
Have had a few dreams
Many animals. playing with cows. playing with lions. rarely i do get afraid of animals , for eg one time i was fighting a tiger, i usually never do cause animals are friendly so dont know why ..

this morning 22-sept it was amazing dream.

first its a weird random dream... then mohanji comes and blesses me, so i go to him and tell something like i dont need anything i jus need to have purity and be honest and meditate nothing else he gives can help - something like that. Mohanji gives me a muruga photo, i am amazed , i show it to my brother he says its not muruga but ganesha, i am thrilled cause i got a muruga photo but now maybe it ganesh chathurthi (last month but seemed like yesterday) mohanji is giving me this pic. i show it to my dad and my dad says shiva and I are standing and its not muruga or ganesha, i do see my dad and Lord shiva standing... i am amazed then i wake up in the dream and realize i am holding on to the picture i am amazed causes i have never seen a miracle where the gift i gt in dream i bring it live world, thts like a  big dream to me, but then i wake up to the actual gross world then realize everything is a dream :) weird.

23-sept-2016
even after i dont meditate before sleeping, i actuallym and sleep i get a nice dream where I am like a guy who has abused kids when they were young :) and I am being relieved of this karma, i get to see those kids who i abused and i ask them sorry and they are fine with it. Their karma and my karma are gone by this and we are all happy, I explain to them how they can and I can sleep peacefully now and this karma that i created by doing unwanted things are now being erased. I thank God for this cancellation of karma and that all are free now. I get on to a train and the train is running fast. My dad and dubai mani chitappa and isha and geethu , amma vijaya chithi and paatti all get on the train, train symbolizes spirituality so its like am back on the train speeding
phew after a long time. Even after going to sleep afterm I still get good dreams like this

Some of the most common dreams that I have been getting for several decades are mostly of falling down from an Abyss, into the depth of depths, constantly falling until I wake up.

swimming in oceans,

running but not going anywhere, trying to run fast but not heading anywhere

snake dreams, animal dreams - very common

attending festivals of ancient traditions



Hearing new bhajans in dreams, hearing omkar

most important and most dangerous -- whatever I desire happens, miraculously materializes itself in real world. Tests are really tough if one is not prepared.

purity alone matters, calmness of mind helps.

Naryaana Sukhtam

Real meaning of Narayana suktham, not the regular translations that we see in internet or books.

2015_05_10-NarayanaSuktam

Narayana means many different things. what we imagine as narayana, is not what it really means. What we imagine as narayana is basically blue guy sleeping on snake coil, with rich woman pressing his feet. That narayana is only a mental projection, every word that god has taken upon himself or accepted, is only to enrich our lives to the higher truth. God is absolute, nameless, formless but when god who is nameless and formless, attributeless, blemishless, internal yet allpervading, immeasurable ..hes selfless and so loving, his existence is only for us to become better. God didn’t take 5ft3 inch afro hair indian guy form for sake of himself he came because many sages and seers since eternity had prayed to him because of their prayers and asking him to take a form, he has taken a form. If we understand the principle that every name of God is given to God is something to transform ourself then we will know the meaning of how it will make me a better person. If we understand the principle that every name of God, is about something transforming ourselves. What is the name of Sai mean, how does Rama make me a better person, how does Krishna make me a better person … this is called swadhyaya this inquiry not just bookish knowledge but understanding. This is from studying the experience not bookighs knowledge. Swadhyaya pravachanecha – have been talking based on experience I learned. Dhee means intellect, adhyaya means one who is beyond intellect, referring to God. Swadhyaya doesn’t mean taking a book and reading it, but it means taking the word and going beyond its external meaning that is beyond the intellect or mind.

The context of the word narayana does not mean blue form, laying bad on snake bed with rich woman pressing his feet, how will it enrich Christian or muslim, if its just only applicable to people who do rituals then how is it universal God. Why will swami ask “everyone” to study vedas (which has reference to Narayana).

Several years ago swami came to sekar ji and asked what is narayana. At that time of knowledge or awareness I was not aware, so I told narayana is blue-form laying on snake bed, swami said chi-chi dhunapotha, he said how wil this make humans better, do u think this is what vedas the eternal talk about ? Out of infinite compassion swami elaborated to Sekar ji that narayana means path, Ramayana means ramas path, nara means human, ayana means path, narayana means humanbeings path, its not hindu word or hindu god. How should a human being lead his journey. So what is this path he asked Swami, so swami said tht is what is described in narayana suktham. When chanting we get mental satisfaction but we have to go beyond that. Adhyaya means to go beyond that, beyond the tools of perception. That is the reason why swami asked us to learn and chant vedas. Is narayana anything to do specific to Hinduism? No, its for every human being, what is the path that will take you to the ultimate, its not specific to any one religion.  The form who is limited to the picture now intrigues us as to what is the path, I should know this. What is our path, what is the destination, what is that goal or target. To know that we will see in this narayana suktham, that is destined for every human being.

First we start with shanthi manthra, meaning peace prayer, each sukhtam (one that is very well said, ukthi means to say, sookthi means beautifully said) the first manthra is called a team prayer.

Sahana vavathu - Let us all come together,

Sahanau bunakthu = let us all be nourished,

Sahaveeryam karavaavahai = let us all work together in great vigor

Tejasvi navadheetha mathu  – may our studies shine and liiumine our intellect

maVavidh vishavahai – may we not contradict each other

Isn’t this not a common prayer for all humans beings?

Now lets start with narayana sutkham

Sahasrasheeram devam vishvaksham vishwasambhavam…sahasra seerusham means infinite forms,

This path is paramam padham, the supreme path or abode or destiny , this path is sahasra seerusham means infinite paths. Sahasra means thousand but it actually signifies path. Devam means God. Infinite number of devaa means unmanfiested , devam means manifested, it means that which is present in infinite number of heads. Vishwam means creation, vishwaksham is the one seeing through the creation.

Vishwam Vishnu vashatkaro = essence of entire Vishnu shasranamam. The one who is all pervading in the creation.

Vishwaksham who is seeing through you, the eye seeing , eye is there but who is seeing.its not the organ that is doing the job, it’s the person who is seeing it. Vishwakasham that one that is seeing, or we can call it as the eye of the universe or eye of creation. He is the head of creation, this is deva, the one whois behind all this creation. When I am speaking I am creating an impact on the waves around me that is getting transmitted, and our ear receives the vibration. Nothing is created in the way you are seeing or listening, there is a subtle phenomenon that makes us perceptible.

vishwa sambuvam = sambhu means who give happiness.

Seer of the seing, hearer of the hearing, preceptor of the perception, that one gives happiness to everyone. He gives happiness at the physical level, sham, give happiness at a spiritual level is maya… that’s what is meant in rudram when it says -- shankaraya cha mayaskaraya cha, shambave cha, mayobhavae cha. When u are thirst u drink water, First the sip gives u happiness that is sham (physical happiness, pertaining to organs, external world).

Vishwam narayanam devam, vishwam is your path. Vishwam is creation, so creation is your path, if you connect to the creation you connect to the creator. My life is my message expansion is my life, Vishnu is expansion, all pervading. Now if you know if HE is all pervading then what do we do, love all serve, we love creation itself, thereby we love creator. In veda mantras usually the first few lines is executive summary. Now later more details are provided but it’s the same summary that is already in the initial lines, given in more details.

If you want to connect with everyone, you have to connect to his inner self, which is same in everyone, then you will be able to connect to everyone, creation, vishwam, thereby connect to the creator. Please one you will please God. Devam aksharam – aksharam means decayless, indestructible. He is that Param padham, supreme path.

This principle of all pervading consciousness, vishwathaha means this principle is relating to vishwa,creation. This supreme (Parama) nithyam – is eternal, ever permanent. This principle is always present. Just like how object always has a reflection, same way when creator is present creation is present. This makes it evolve, resolve, dissolve, the function of God. Vishwam narayanagm harim. Hari means one who dissolves. Hara means one who dissolves. Rahim one who dissolves. Root of Rahim from Harim. When your little I ego is dissolved, ego comes HE comes, when ego comes HE goes. Dissolves happens to this little i ego, harim means dissolve the ego. First pat on spirituality is dissolve that is harim. Then what happens – vishwame vedham, ego is dissolved. To connect to him you have to first let go of EGO. Vishwame vedham, how do you know the creation, veda means worshipping the creation, through that you worship the creator. Earth water fire wind space, when you worship this you worship God. Veda is to know God is present within and without. Vishwamevaedham purushaha, that purusha (principle) creation is the same as creator, veda means to know vishwame purushaha, that is creation and creator are one and the same. That principle we are able to connect to by dissolving our egos first. Evolving , resolving, dissolving is happening into one source of consciousness. Ego is coming from this thing called doership. Where clouds come from – its from water essentially. Who is evaporating water, it’s the sun. cloud that is generated by Sun, is now covering the Sun itself J This principle of doership associated with your little self, that I am doing this I am doing that, that encompasses your own supreme consciousness, you forgot that there is a supreme consciousness within you so you have to now discover, which means dis-cover (remove the cover) remove the ego you will see God is within, he is the one who is seeing, speaking, doing is all HIM. What we think as we is the body and the mind but we are truly no these. When you connect to that aspect of it then you identify your ego and you will dissolve it.

2015_05_17-NarayanaSuktam

Narayana is the path of human beings. This path narayana first starts with understanding what is this path that is outside of us. Meditation means thinking of God, not just thinking but also seeing God, talking, walking, living, loving God in everything, everything becomes path for God by God to God. Narayana suktham is realizing God is in everything but everything is not God. How is this true ? Because you are not connected to God all the time, that becomes unGod. Vishwam narayanam aksharam paramampadham the supreme abode is manifested in millions of things around in which God is present, God is present in all of creation. This God is actually seeing through his creation, giving happiness to his own creation, both spiritually and materialistically. Happiness is union with God as defined by Swami. Vishwa shambuvam, God is giving that happiness from outside to inside.

What you superimposing on the object yourself, comes back to you as a reflection, its one and the sme that is flowing through. If you look at the flower and smile you will see it smilng at you, becauyse its your own subtle reflection. When you are afraid of a dog it will also take a step back and try to be angry at you, if you are showing love to it and approach it that will be sensed by the dog also. Swami rama once told in his biography how he saw a tiger and he was not affected. So we have to connect to that aspect that principle in the vishwa, creation. This parama is even beyond that, that gives happiness, this parama is the source, don’t get attached to the object but connect to the source, vishwatha ha parama nithyam that is above and beyond the object itself, its always present and you connect to that. That source that is giving you happiness that is the same source, evolving resolving and dissolving, so don’t get attached to this object that changes externally, connect to the source which is internal and non-changing, everything is evolving from that source.

Pathim vishwath....shivam achyutham. We spoke about source of everything present in creation, that source is in the supreme abode, that is aksharam, decayless, eternal, that source from which everything is evolving, resolving, dissolving, that source is the Lord of entire creation, shashwathagum is permanent. Those objects are going to come and go, but the happiness that is given is permanent because it comes from the source. For ex: father mother wife brother son daughter gave you happiness, they wil not be with you permanent  with you, they provided you happiness all the way, but they don’t stay with you permanently. The same source of happiness becomes annoyance after sometime or becomes frustration. As long expectation is there your happiness gone is bound to change. The expectation is about an individual or object, you are expecting it to reflect some happiness but what you shold do is go beyond the love of the object but on the source itself. For ex even if parents are not there if you are able to connect to the love they reflected that will give happiness, that love giving happiness is permanent. But the object that gives happiness comes and goes away. It is always shivam auspicious, achutham means never goes away. Chutha means that goes away, achutha means that which does not let you go. Inside happiness the outside object circumstance external world are not relevant, contextual circumstancial, expectation is to the love of bhagawan which is inside us permanent auspicious eternal and never lets you go, that is bhagwans love. You may stray away in different direction but he will not let you go becayse he is achutha, the source of happiness and love its always there within. The problem is you are not connected within, you connect to the object instead of the source. Mahagyeyam, gyeyam means knowing, gyanthru means knower, gyanam is knowledge. Mahagyeyam means supreme knowing, this narayanam mahagyeyam is about vishwathmanam, that is the core of creation, that source. Atma is core, vishwa means creation, that core to the creation if you know that principle that is supreme knowing. Narayana means nara’s path. Parayana means para’s path that is ultimate path. That path of a human being to connect to the core of creation that is the most supreme path. Narayanam mahagyeyam vishwathmanam parayanam. What a wonderful meaning. Is to connect to that source of whole creation, know that that is the most supreme path. What is that path? How do I connect to that?

Vishwadhagum – you go inside, the core of entire creation, he is present inside. That’s why the upside goes down when u chant that manthra, pathim vishwayathmeshwaragum shashvathgum, those ggum is going inside symbolically going inside. When you invoke that sound that energy of the sound connects you to the source, so you cannot translate and say manthra in any another way, it has to be chanted with this intonation only. The energy and meaning are so interconnected , you cannot separate electricity and magnetism, electricity illumines while magnetism  attracts, so veda manthras are like electro-magnetic vibrations, where electricity illumines the mind and magnetism (sound of manthra) attracts the intellect, so mind is controlled, intellect is illumined , that is the path which is now illumined, and you are not wavering, you are now on the path of narayana.

Path of man is therefore to reach the core of creation, there he will find the creator. How to understand the core of creation? The next 3 lines talks about that. These 3 manthras you are going to tell us what it is to meditate upon

Naryanaparo jyothi atma narayana paraha…

Knowledge (jayanam) knower (jyanthru) knowing (jyeyam)…Same way dhyanam (meditation), dhathru (meditator), dheya (goal of meditation). We started with what is meditation. Sekar ji asked swami what is meditation. People sitting and closing eyes, that is concentration. Some start contemplating. Swami explained this way, when u come to parthi, with so many questions, u start writing down it in a letter. Swami I have this problems in my life etc etc. Writing this letter is concentration, you focus on a particular topic which is connecting to god. All dhaya karo, krupa karo, raksha karo is like concentration. Mind is not wandering around and asking everyone but u r focused on talking to God. Once u fold the letter u are waiting for swami ur knees are aching, legs paining, when swami comes out. If you come in car then I may not be able to see clearly, if u walk then more time for dharshan, will you come this side or that side. Will u reach my row, will u turn away from this side, this is contemplating. Swami comes and right in front of you, that time you forget there is a letter with you you wanted to give you, that is meditation. It is not anymore about writing your problems, or asking god abuot your probems, but about forgetting yourself or your problems that you thought were important. Concentration is just not getting distracted, your efforts related to your faculty. Contemplation is beyond concentration , its trying to strategize, its not about ur faculties in action its beyond your faculty. Now when swami is in front of you you are one with that you don’t remember anything else that is state of meditation. Meditation is where meditator, thought of meditation, meditating all have merged into one thing, that is the true meditation.

There are 3 things , personal reality(this is concenteration), relative reality (this is contemplation), then absolute (it is beyond you, what you think you are), when these 3 merge that stage is meditation.

Jyothi is light, when u light a lamp what is actually giving the light. Wick is there wax is there, but which is the source of the light, everything together is the candle, but what is giving the light is beyond the 3 things.

Shankaracharya says beautifully in dhakshinamurthy sthothram, if u take a pot with lot of holes in it and you put a lamp in it. The lamp will now give light to all the holes of the pot, the whole room is illuminated from all those holes on the pot. The light inside the pot is giving the beauty effect, not the pot or the holes, it is that light.

This light of mine I am going to let it shine, let it shine let it shine bhajan

Wherever u go I am … (bhajan)

Let it shine. Who is that light, its not the karanas, its not the holes or the body that gives the light

This body has 9 (many) holes, through this 9 holes light comes out, my knowledge and awareness is shining through this, as bliss and love comes out. When I speaking it is knowledge, when I am hearing, touching etc all is knowledge. It is expressed through the holes of the pot, who is giving this light. There is something that is giving this light, this supreme consciousness, the light is the source, narayana param jothihi, narayana paraha.

Fire is already present in the wood therefore it is able to be lit. What is the spirit in the wood that you is where you connect to, that is the light of everything. Naraya paro jothihi, atma narayana paraha. The one that is lighting is narayana, the light is narayana, supreme paraha path is connecting to HIM.

Brahma means one who is present in everything. After this manthra transition occurs, from everything outside to focus on inside, brings in the meditative aspect.

2015_05_24-NarayanaSuktam

The first 5 shlokas  are basically adi bhuta aspect of the divine consciousness which is the physical aspect. It talked about what you see what you hear what you touch, everything external, jagath sarvam, whatever u perceive the entire cosmos dhrushyathe that you can see shrutyathe that you hear, whatever you are able to see and hear of the entire jagath that comes and go (ja means to come, gath means to go), everything that is perceived is narayana.

Narayana paro jothihi atma naryaana paraha – jothi that u see, its talking about that light that is making you see. The light inside the pot, that light that is giving the light its properties, making us see. If you have is it enough to see, No. simple if you have bulb can you see, No. electricity makes it possible to light the bulb, life in you is making your eyes the power to see. You can not see electricity similarly you cannot see the God that makes your eye see. But you can feel electricity, same way you can feel the God in you. If you see THAT that is the unseen that is beyond the seeing, that which is heard but not the hearing, that is felt but not the feeling, that is the source behind the karanas and indriyas.

Ishavasyam idham sarvam – same manthra. Vasya means distance, ishavasya means distance to the one God who is residing. Sarvam he is present everywhere now and here.

Parabrahma-  ultimate brahmam, you and that ultimate , is narayana. Gold is the basis of ring, necklace, the goldsmith onl see the gold, he wont see ring or necklace etc. The value is only based on how much gold there is. Tat thvam narayana paraha, you think you are this body, this occupation, this relatives, but this is all circumstancial, you are nothing but THAT, the ultimate brahman, you are God. That is gold, remaining are all objects.

Narayana paro jathaha dhyanam narayana paraha – what is that which you are meditating upon. Meditating is one where anything u come across u observe without prejudism, jdugement, that is meditating. When a child smiles at you, you don’t think you just smile right back. What will it do, the child will unconditionally spread the joy within you. You and child are both smiling, no thinking, no thoughts, no evaluating, you are just smiling back at the child, you 2 are connected that is meditation. When you are smelling the flower, when the flower draws you, for that simple presence. Dhayanam naraya paraha. Suddenly what you are talking about is the path, that becomes the target, both path and target are not same. We are used to think I have to follow all these things, this is my path and I have to reach there as target, but now you realize that what you are in the path that itself is the target. You continue to in that awareness. Anthar bahischa thath sarvam sthithaha – for sure guaranteed presence, where is it ? anthar bahischa, that which is present in you and in everyone too that is narayana.

This shloka Part2 is about adhyathmikam

How to go beyond perceptual beyond physical and go beyond and connect to that. We know where he is present now we have to see how to be with him all that time in that awareness. So far have we come across 4 arms, or snakes or ocean bed or blue bodied – how much we have lost by not knowing the inner presence of veda manthras.

Anantam (infinite), Avyayam – non diminishing. If you spend joy it increases. kavigum omniscience , samudrentham vishwa sambhuvam. Samudhram means ocean, we pay attention to waves, what is end of ocean , there is no end at all. There is no end or center to the ocean its vast infinite. If u go the same way samudhrentham vishwa sambhuvam that presence you will see HIM, through thghtlessness, vishwa sambhuvam the one who is giving happiness to the creation you will see him.

Gananam thva .. kavim kaveenam (kavim means omniscience) it is not talking about the elephant form

Whoever is invoking that energy which is beyong my senses (gana means senses) I am invoking that gananam thva who is beyond sense, this energy is kavimn kaveenam, he knows that omniscience itself, omniscience of all, that which is all knowing. By knowing that which you know everything is kavim kaveenam. Mupamasra vasthamam- coming close that energy, proximity to that presence.

2015_05_31-NarayanaSuktam

Last week we started how to go inside, we spoke about adhibouthika (what is perceived outside)– what is seen, heard, perceiving, as outside now we are going to talk about inside. The path we are going to embark upon, that path is already present within, so instead of looking outside, start looking inside. This is called aadhyathmika. How to connect to this inner principle , one that is seeing, feeling hearing and one that is pervading. Connect to him that who is knowing all this. Think of a man, that gets married becomes husband, then becomes father, then grandfather, its relative. What you are assigned is a relative identity, depending on your acitivity. Swami examined this beautifully, if man is present all the time then who is changing, the identity is what is changing. Each of them is true in its own time and relative experience but the man remains the same, no change. What we thought things changed after marriage or kid or work, but only virtual relativity has changed, not what is the original. This looking for God outside is gone, that is always within you all the time. Why are you wasting your time looking for glasses outside when it is actually on top of your head. Same thing with divine, its already within us, but sometimes we forget so the guru comes and tells us it is within you, stop looking outside its already inside. See Always Inside, Seek Always Inside. You will find this divine principle already within you. How does that substance look like, what is made of, these manthras exactly tell you how it looks like and how can it be perceived. Adho nishtya means apple of adam, below throat, it is below that. Vithasyanthe means distance between chaan (or jaan) in tamil (between thumb and little finger) in purusha suktham we learnt atha dhishath dhashangulam (10 fingers – angulam means finger, dhasha means place all your 10 fingers, EVERYTHING is present here purusha suktham is saying) in naryana sukthma it says nabhya mupari- from the navel above the navel one jaan, and one jaan from adam of apple. There is a lotus turned upside down. Hridhaya is present chaapyadho mukham. Hridhaya is the heart of compassion, bruhath gaya means incomprehensible magnanimous grandiose, that infinite grace of dhaya compassion is called hridhaya. Its not the physical heart. That is just an organ that can be replaced, its like nose or hand or stomach. This lotus bud is turned upside down. Jvalamala kulam baathi – if u see a jvala mala infinite lights that is great effulgence, if you are arranging all inifinte lamps, vishwathya mahath means the greatest, this heart is shining with infinite number of lamps this is where the whole universe is located.

Personal experience – few years ago we all went to silver falls , lot of water falls and nature was there, I was a guest speaker there. They have a room for swami every year in that retreat. This particular year somehow they did not create a room for swami, Sekar ji dint know that. He lied down on the bed thinking where is the light coming from, it was coming from the center of hrudhaya (not physical heart). Early in the morning those people told that it used to be swamis room every year but this time they gave it to him for some reason and they did not have swami room.

Jvala mala kulam bhaathi is innumerable number of lights , just effulgence, its not like LED or heat, its only purely light, this whole universe is located in that. How can the universe be located in that? Right now we are in the hall, its in the building, its in this space. Is there something really called hall, actually u build a wall around space and called it a hall and room etc but in reality its all space. That space got an identity cause you put it in a boundary. The space is infinite but you put walls to make it limited for a purpose. Now when I erase this space around all that I have left is space merged with space, only the limited boundary is removed.

Swami wrote small dot in paper and said what are u seeing. Everyone said dot, swami said the entire thing is full white paper but you are focusing on the dot , you are focusing on it instead of the most significant white paper but u r focusing on this small insignificant dot. Matakasha ghatakasha chidakasha etc the common factor is akasha, mata means hall, ghata means pot, hrudakasha space in the heart but its all akasha only

That infinite illuminous thing, whole universe is in the light jvala mala kulam bhaathi. This lotus hrudaya (not physical heart) the lotus bud that we are talking about, this hrudaya is now suspended in all sides, it is suspended akosha sanibam, lambathi means suspended, by innumerable naadis from all sides (not physical arteries , but maybe naadi means nerves) its connected to all type of naadis and inside it thasyaanthe there is a microscopic sukshma space (sushiragum means space) inside it there is a microscopic space. Thasmic sarvam prathishtitham in this everything is present. Everything is present in the space but In this microscopic space everything is present. How can this be? For ex: how are planets going around the sun, they are suspended in space, and they go around due to some force, centrifugal or centripetal we name such forces. Tasya madhye in the center of it, maha agnihi , a great fire is there, magnanimous fire, vishwachi means all effulgence, this fire is all effulgence. Vishwatho mukaha means it is spread in all directions. So agra bhu that fire is the first one that its consuming, whatever food is given this is the first place that consumes the food. For ex when we recite aham vaishvanaro bhuthva, this shloka is in bhagath gita, shri Krishna says the same to arjuna. I am the fire within all the beings. We had icecream distribution in puttaparthi, icecream owners are swami devotees. Both joy and quality ice cream owners were there sitting next to each other,swami jokes saying in quality there is no joy, when there is joy there is no quality. Thereby making a spiritual statement, we enjoy but we forget the quality we just do for the sake of it, when we strive for quality we forget the joy in it. That should not be the case. Our work should be both of quality and joyful while doing it. Swami said if u said brahmarpanam then it means u have offered it to me. So Agra buk the first one to consume is HIM. When you offer it to this agni HE takes it and he is the one that divide it and distribute it. In sanatana dharma when u offer it to sacrificial fire we put ghee and we put it in fire.  You have to sit down and say the prayers and put the different things wait for all items to be served and prokshana purify the food as it may impurity of vessel, raw material of food, guy cooking, surroundings , purified of all impurities and then put into the fire. The first few grains are not even chewed pick from thumb middle and ring fingers only.. saying pranaya swahaha, apana, vyana, udhanaya, samanaya, brahmane swahaha. Swaha is the offering toGod swadha is offering to pithrus. Agni distributes it to all the divinity inside of you. In your body there are inmfinite energies working synergistically to make fingers move eyelids move to do all this work, its all this different divine energy working towards making you work. As mentioned in lagunyasam thishtathu. You are just nimitha mathram just enjoying, you have to offer this to the so agra bhuk , the first one he is going to take that food u have nothing to do with digestion HE will take care of it. God is worshipped as light as fire as love by all religions of the world, it’s the same fire the same light the same love. When mind is killed heat is to destroy ignorenace, light is to imllunate intellect, when mind is destroyed you can see clearly the intellect, everything is connected.

Sekhar ji was thiking why its upside down, swami answered.

2015_06_07-NarayanaSuktam

In the middle there is a maha agni great fire, in the middle of the lotus bud turned upside down, one jaan from adams apple and one jaan above navel, in the center of this lotus there is a microscopic space and everything is present in this space. What this manthra is saying , its spread in all directions, vishwachir means all the time effulgent, its always all the time permanently present, constantly effulging. No requirement for light, its self effulgent, this agni is the first one to partaking the food and after partaking it it will distribute the food to all the energies present in the body. This is not a concept, this is the truth. When NT ramarao comes as Krishna Rama we believe in the actor, when god comes and says I am God we don’t believe in him and we build temples for NT ramarao instead of Rama Krishna. The friction the actor is the thought that I am body I am mind, we are so much in that belief, we are engraved in it we fail to realize the God in the actor and we only associate to the body as God. This agni is all the time present, ever effulgent and omniscient. I am that life force within you, I am the prana apana vyana udana samana within you. We have 10 different winds, naga kurma krugara devadatta dhananjaya are the remaining 5. Digest all type of 4 types of food, those are chewed, licked, drank, sucked.

Thiryak means all around, urdhvam up above, adha down below, I am present. Who said this, shayi, (that is sai J) shayi means the all pervading one. This light is as If all pervading one, this spreading all around up above  and down below completely. Rashmayas– rashmi means rays of light. thasya santhatha all the time, all around, rays coming from divine effulgence are spread.  Apadha means from the toe to the tip of the head masthakaha means head, it is giving warmth and life, just like how sun is spreading inside, thiryak urdhvam adha shayi, rashmaya thasya santhatha, is now spreading like rays of sun it is giving warmth of presence from the tip (of foot) to the top (of the head). When the fire is put off the warmth in the body is gone, when the antaryami leaves you will feel body becomes  cold because fire is gone. This fire is the one giving warmth to the body.

Swam deham my body, apathala masthakaha, from down (apadha) to top (thala), full body.

42:00

When there is no fire inside, u have no enthusiasm,  u r cold. This fire has 2 properties, one is warmth other is light. This warmth is the burning quality, when u offer yourself it burns all your qualities and converting into vibhuthi. The whole process of yajna is that. We are taking and pouring swaha into fire. Swaha means when we are throwing in fire. Swami explains the connection between yagna and human mind, so is the offering into the sacrificial fire such is the fire, so is the fire such is the cloud, so is the cloud such is the rain, such is the crop, such is the food, such is the thought, such is the habit, such is the character, such is the society, such is the nation. This yagna that started outside is thus connected to inside. Every time we eat that is an yagna, inside yourself there is this fire , we are putting food in this fire. So is the food u r putting, such will be your thoughts, so are your thoughts such is the habits, such is the character. If you put lot of food into the fire, the fire extinguishes. So don’t overeat. If you put bad smelling things in your food, bad smell will be in your thoughts and so will your character be too. Similarly if you eat junk food u will get junk thoughts. If you eat as if you are doing yagna to the fire inside of you. So you wont eat junk, you wont, eating food is like yagna. Since its an offering to fire you offer it to god, that fire inside is god, when u offer it to god first it becomes prasadam. Everything is converted into ash by the fire. Its converted into vibhuthi. When u offer to god before u eat, u convert into vibuthi , what YOU are consuming now is vibhuthi. Once you offer vibhuthi you are not affected by negativity of the food, because its already burnt so the essence is only one vibhuthi.

Does it mean we can put junk food in front of swami and eat it. Do it, its ok, offer it to swami and tell him swami I am offering you this junk food please eat it and then u eat it. You can do it once twice few more times, after that you yourself wont offer junk food to swami after that. It will be out of your system soon. So when you eat junk food, or do something unnecessary you offer it to swami and eat it or drink it, you will do it for sometime, slowly the change will come in you.

tasya Madhye vannishika anneeyordhva – we talked about space, about the fire spreading in all directions. When you look at a fire or a fire that is coming, you will see there are 2 layers, outside layer is orangish yellowish color, the center is blue. Now in the (tasya Madhye) center of this fire, vanni shika (there is a radiant spark), not the big fire but that small spark within, aniyordhva , ani means like an atom, very small, in the center of the fire its present. From outside we spoke about space everything outside, from there we came to fire, then inside we have that vector of dimension, above navel below throat, we saw the suspended lotus bud with nadis, in tht there is a small space in tht space there is fire, in that center of fire, there is a spark of fire, that is size of an atom.

Vidhyulle keva baskara , the rishis have been extremely clear, they are experiencing this and talking you are so confident and clear and able to explain correctly with clarity. They are talking about this inner experience, where to go what to find and how to go and what is the distance, they are giving all indications.

Cross apple of adam go below 10inches, don’t go till the navel its too far, so rishis saying 12 inches up the navel, there is a lotus upside down. From here you get there watch for a small space, lotus is suspended with nadis. In this small space there is a fire connect to this force, there is incredible effulgence here. From this effulgence there is a microscopic ray of light in the center, neelatho yadhmadhyasdhadh, thoyadha means dark black cloud in color. In the dark black cloud inside there is a lightning that will be seen. Vidhyulleka means electric pulse or electric ray like a lightning in dark cloud. Electric splash is vidhyule keva bhasvara, describing clearly how it looks like. This sukhtham is for meditation, you have to connect to that splash, you are jolted, you then experience something, emotions come out. When basvara means effulgence. Neevara shooka vathanvi peethabas vadhyaroopama.

When the class was going on , around 2 weeks ago when we were doing abhishekam to pancha mukha shiva in sekar uncles homes, there is a continuous stream of sunlight on the lingam, the lotus flower above the navel on lingam, just turned upside down automatically, sekar ji connected to it. When you take the stream of all consciousness and channeling it inside inside inside, this lotus that is sitting here automatically turns upside down. It is suspended so all the energy that is going when we meditate inside it flips thus the lotus becomes reversed.

Further description happens now about the lightning, in the center of the dark cloud suddenly there is a lightning you can see, that lightning neevara shooka vath, the paddy grains when it germinates, it looks like golden hue color. They are saying this lightning is not like big but looks like the paddy which is golden in color. thanvi means very delicate and slender, slender paddy looking in golden color.

Final para - Tasya shikaya Madhya – on the tip of this spark, is the one that looks like the golden hue paddy, at the tip of this spark, in the center of this tip paramatma is there, god resides there. You have to connect to this.

All manthras are about connecting to this God this spark, atma means self paramatma is supreme self, nara is being, naryana is supreme being. That atom sized spark is where this supreme self is residing. Sa brahma sa shiva sahari sa indra etc…That is brahma that is siva that is Hari, that is indra, that is akshara,

That is verily (brahma) creativity, (shiva) auspiciousness, harihi (??) is coming, (indra) power of action, its undecaying permanent (akshara), paramswarat that is the supreme being that is there. These are not Gods, these are all within us. Create sustain and dissolve, action, ability to do all this comes from here, but it is not only that it is even beyond.

Ritham- perceived truth, sathyam – the unperceivable truth. Ritham is sun is rising in east, setting in west that is ritham. The actual trust is Sathyam sun never rises or sets, earth is only rotating causing us to observe that way. We are not seeing earth rotating we cannot feel it but it is truth. Rithagm sathyam parabrahman, whatever you see as truth and whatever you don’t see as truth, all is that supreme being. There is only one being who is behind all this, Krishna pingalam, Krishna means dark, black in color. he is the core crux that is unchanging that is the source and reason for rithgm and sathyam. One is changeless one is coming and going, what is coming and going is happening because of the truth which is unchanging. The time we see is therefore a virtual reality, its relative, we are only connecting to it now, but the actual reality is changeless and because of that changeless reality only.

Krishna pigalam that purush is too deep, oorhdvaredham means magnanimous, virupaksham means that one that has distorted eye (aksha), vishwarupa, this magnimous cosmos is the truth. Who has distorted eye ? 2 is even 3 is odd, so the distorted eye is denoting Siva. Siva is the auspiciousness is the core, what emanates from it is all-pervading. Siva is center, Vishnu is pervading, the center of every being is shiva consciousness. All pervading expansiveness is Vishnu. So Vishnu is coming from shiva, shiva is residing in the narayana.

Veda is awareness, not a book. That is why they say vedas is incomprehensible. At the center of vedas is yajur veda, the center is rudram in the center of rudram is 8^th para, in that center is siva manthra. Center of whole universe is therefore siva, when he expands he becomes Vishnu. This individual self is nara, when we expand to supreme being we become narayana.

When u do penance in a place like badrinath where shiva Vishnu nara narayana are present you will be instantly connected.

Narayanaya vidhmahe vasudevaya dheemahi thannoh Vishnuf prachodhayath.

Vidh means to know. I now know what is narayana. Narayana is the human path, what is the path. From macrocosmic to microcosmic, from external world to go within. This path is vasudevaya dheemahi, I meditate upon that which is residing within everything. Vasudeva means that being residing in everything. What is present in everybeing, that is paramatma. The supreme being is paramatma, residing at the core, now I know my path is to connect to that. When I connect to that which path where to go, as per rishis instructions, the path is to meditate upon that which is present in everything which is also present within me. What did I connect to, thanno Vishnu prachodhayath, expansion consciousness is what I am connected to.

Veda mantras are completely misinterpreted so people are confused on who is siva who is Vishnu who is shakthi who is Christina who is muslim, all of veda mantras never talk about any one god it talks about how to connect to that one god.

Sayeeshwaraya vidhmahe sathyadevaya dheemahi thannah sarva prachodhayath

Sai eeshwara – 5ft3inch afro haired guy is not saibaba. That is only a body. Easwara means being, sai eeaswara is the sai being in everyone. I know the being in everyone, he is the same as I, I meditate upon this divine truth same as I, he is satya devaya deemahi, he same as I , so am I, soham, he has manifested in everyone. No relation to the 5ft 3inch body at all. It is about the all pervading God which is also the same in us.

Dream feb-3-2016 morning

Basically I have trouble focusing and centering my attention always, we get lost in the world and lose myself in random thoughts before I bring back my attention. Very slow and boring process so not able to steady that's what mt state of mind and worry was during my night meditation, before going to sleep.

in the early morning hours maybe 5AM or 5.30AM, As usual I woke up while asleep and then started flying (not dreaming) , i was in bliss just enjoying the flying this time I close my eyes and only wanted the experience of flying I dint want to see anything or do anything. But after sometime I was bored of flying so I decided to just sit and meditate on that plane. Even if we close our eyes we do get distracted because Mind doesnt want to cooperate and be on one state.

A pan-Asian middle aged (maybe 40-50 yrs) was sitting nearby on a chair. I said since I am meeting you in this astral plane and I am conscious and you recognize me, you must be divine so please advise me (based on my state of not being able to meditate very effectively or go into states of silence) .... she then sang a beautiful rhythmic song in English, very poetic but I dint understand exactly what the entire song was. But I realized in that song she is advising me, the song goes like this -- there is a university with blue roof and blue walls and I will meet my person who will help me in getting my sadhana stronger , I asked her how will I know that person she said when u Goto the university if u see him 3 times constantly then that is your person. All this was conveyed in a beautiful song. I have no idea what is that university and how I will three times the same person but he will help me inspire me to get better at my sadhana is what was clear.

Then I asked her if she divine then take me to swami she dint I tried but I could not Goto swami. I tried hard by realized I couldnt goto him cause in that plane I dont know where he is and only if he wills I can go. She was silent but i understood that if I want something I can ask her. I wanted to ask her to grant me out of body in awake state also, which right now is happening only in astral plane. I was about to ask but because earlier Bobby had warned me not to go behind out of body experience as I may not be able to come back to my physical body I stopped from asking her. Then as usual mind comes inbetween and thinks what if she is evil and is not helping me sadhana, I ask her take me to my swami she doesnt, and I also couldnt. But I am not afraid at all , i confidently decide she is divine , there is nothing evil , its only in my mind so I believe her. I go visit a mountain , its a beautiful mountain rivers streaming besides it I sit there. I see various animals , initially non-harming animals like not wild ones, they go and then comes all the big wild animals like hundreds of lions and tigers, I am absolutely not scared I tell them this is astral plane and I am awake so I am not at all afraid. They run towards they stand with me, I just watch them graze. Nothing much but just outpouring of love and awareness.

Dream in mdh - Nov-2015
is detachment correct, people are affected and impacted unless I am attached I wont feel like praying
Swami answered in his own unique style

1. What is Detachment ? Detachment is from me and mine, ahamkaram and mamakaram. This is the basis for spirituality. If there is no peace within you, how can you spread love. U have to be detached from you and yours. You should be filled with love and peace.

2. Now that you have become detached and are in equipoise, second step is to get attached to the whole world and make it personal. Because you see yourself in everyone you treat their pain as yours. All worlds issue is yours. U have to feel it, feel the love and take it up. This type of attachment is devoid of Me and Mine hence its for the benefit of the whole world.

3. Swami kissed me on the cheeks repeatedly and I got extremely happy and shivering with excitement that the lord of the universe is kissing me. I am emotionally elevated high. Now to reach the divine you must be brimming with that much love and feeling and emotion and make it personal. Now with that  love, you ask Swami for help. Swami will now intervene and help.

After teaching the lesson I was waiting to talk but there was nothing left to talk to swami. I am going to be kicked out of the room cause lesson is over, so swami was saying If you are not doing my work, why are you still here. do you have any questions ? dream over.
If i did not have anything to do for him then I dont need to interact with him or waste spending time with him, his time is precious.

I didn't realize at the time that I was being given this heavy workload for my own good, to keep me near Bhagavan. After living like this for some time, I began to feel that I had too much to do and that my life was being wasted.

One day Bhagavan Ramanar looked at me intently and said, 'It looks as if you are still hankering after meditation'. I replied, 'I have no time. All I have is endless work in the kitchen.'

Bhagavan responded, with deep feeling, 'Your hands may do the work but your mind can remain still. You are that which never moves. Realize that and you will find work is not a strain.

But as long as you think that you are the body and that the work is done by you, you will feel your life to be an endless toil. In fact, it is the mind that toils, not the body. Even if your body
keeps quiet, will your mind keep quiet too? Even in sleep the mind is busy with its dreams.'

'Yes, Swami,' I replied, 'It is as natural for you to know that you are not your body as it is for us to think that we are the body. I had a dream recently in which you were explaining this very point. I was dreaming that I was working in the kitchen and that you were having your bath in your usual place behind the bamboo-mat partition. ‘You asked, "Who is it?" and I replied, "Who shall I say I am?"

Then you answered, "Exactly so. You are nothing of which something can be said."

That was my dream, and it was all quite clear. Why can't I continuously remember while I am awake that I am not the body?'

'Because you haven't yet had enough of it,' he replied with a smile.

- Subbalakshmi Ammal, The Power of the Presence on Ramana Maharishi

Nov-2015. I wake up in the astral plane. I see my brother falling down the mountain i catch him and teach him how not to fall. I fly around but then I realize its boring to fly, every place is the same , its all created by the mind. I sit there and call upon higher beings to catch my consciousness and to connect. I get a warm fuzzy feeling in my anahata (heart) chakra. I let the warm feeling develop i focus on that and i am connected to a divine being. I dont understand the instructions cause its not words but we stay connected for sometime. I am not able to focus as usual am distracted but this time out of fear, as i have been warned a few times by Bobby i try not to invoke evil spirits so I just lay there , break the connection with the higher being and wake up into the physical world.

Later on that day I call Kiran uncle and he explains to me that the divine being trying to communicate always happens through heart chakra and not to be afraid. So am waiting for the next time i come in contact like this.

It does happen another time in Dec-2015 when i wake up in the astral body and connect to a divine being by opening my heart chakra. But nothing really seems to happen. I wake up in the physical world again.

Jan-9th morning could be around 5AM dream.
I was in standing outside my office, i saw swami there walking. I was like why is he here suddenly i am thrilled but not devotional but more like excited, i see lot of people lined up and crowded. swami is walking between like darshan times and i am crowd controlling. swami is standing and talking to some devotee addresses them and moves forward, several devotees talk to swami. Since this is in the 4th dimension I can feel swami talking to them with full faith i know it but at the sametime hes least attached to the person when he moves away. when he was near and trying to sovle the problem he is emotional, applying, completely involved in answering questions and guiding but the moment he steps away to walk he has forgotten that problem and that person. That is detachment. since whoever stops swami and asks questions i thought i wil also stop him, from behind i am folowing and crowd controlling so i call out to swami, swami first ignores me and then finally looks sternly at me, as if telling me this is not the place or time to ask questions. I get the hint i dont trouble him anymore. Now i dont have any questions to ask cause i know swami is only answering other poeple. My mind is more silent now, i start watching swami more closely , apart from the detachment lesson there was something else that was happening. Whatever swami was trying to say people are not ready to listen. they have their own agenda, their own lessons, their own issues, some are crying some are craving, they are not in a state to understand what swami has come to say or what swami had to come to give. because of them putting a limit on this swami is not able to show his glory so they are missing out on this. after walking sometime swami is tired so he goes into a room i follow him and he lies down to sleep and immdtly starts snoring. I am thinking swami is a "cheater" "thief" how sulkily hes pretending to sleep, cause otherwise people wont go. so i lock the door and tell people inside the room to just leave immdtly so swami can take rest. eveyrone is gone its only me and swami in the room as i lock i look outside the room i realize there is absolutely no difference between me and others standing outside but the only reason am inside is because am not bothering him with "my"problems. The more problems I share the less he listens to me because i am putting a limit on what he has come to give. Now that i dont bug him hes keeping me with him in his infinite grace i am even sharing the room with him. When i say "i dont bug him" what i mean is i dont have external worldly desires (at that moment) or issues of the mind. Atleast at that moment he made me like tht to teach me a lesson. I am stil thinking swami is such a cheat but how beautifuly he cheats people so he brings them peace and joy , hes not least bit angry that they are not listening to his atma vichara discussions but at the same time he patiently waits for them to forget their worldy confusions and surrender. Yet, hes teaching them in a fashion that is suited only for them. Then while snoring his hand comes out and signals me to lie down and sleep. I realize i am tired even thogh this is one moment of my life where i am alone with swami i cannot ask anthing cause if i ask then i wil be thrown out of the room too cause the reason am here is becauyse of the silencing of the mind. If i ask him anything what does it mean, i let the mind ask, i bring focus to the mind so i decide to lie down and sleep. Suddenly after soooo much i become deeply emoitnal and devotional that i am alone with the lord of the universe sleeping, i finally pray to him cupping my 2 hands i realize this is surreal this cannot happen i am in the 4th dimension i knew it this is all his play. so i wake up in 4th dimension and i start travelling. Then i tell myself what is the need to travel when the lord is right here wtih me so i stop flying out of the body and stay with him. i do have all the signals telling me i am awake, my body undergoes an earthquake experience every cell is vibrating i have woken up in the next plane but i am not doing anything to take advantage of it cause i just want to be with swami. i wake up into the physical world and open my eyes and dreams over, the 4th plane is over too.